I just finished reading the poem above and realized that my life has changed but there is still a big hole in my heart.  And i will never be the same, but as the poem says

 please don't hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday.

I love you and miss you John Charles and nothing will ever be the same. Keep ypur Dad out of trouble

THE DAY IS COMING, WHEN YOU WILL CELEBRATE JOHNS BIRTHDAY WITH HIM AGAIN! GOD BLESS YOUR HEARTS~

FROM THE FAMILY OF DAVID GIRAUD~

My most sincere regrets for the loss of your son. I too lost my son, the only thing that has kept me going are my girls, who too miss there big brother. Your son was born a year and a day after mine and died a year after my son was murdered, so they were both the same age. Over time I have learned that this isn't anything you every get over, but it is something you learn to live with. this is the poem I would share w/family and friends and had it posted everywhere, I hope that you too can use it. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss because I DO now what your going through.

 

Regina

Mom to Angel Anthony Garcia

 

Please don't tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don't tell me my son is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want him here with me,
Don't tell me someday I'll hear his voice, see his face,
Beyond today I cannot see,
Don?t tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don?t tell me to face the fact he is gone,
Because denial is something I can't stop,
Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
Don't tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I'll never be as I was before,
What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don't hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday.

John 

This has been the hardest month since you left us. i miss your smile and sense of humor. We got so close in the year after your Dad's passing, i knew you would always be there for me. You know you will always be my baby now even though you always hated when i would call you my baby. I still can not understand the reasoning as to why this happend or you died instead of me. i feel so lost in this life now with out you and your Dad. I do not know what my purpose in life is supposed to be. Maybe here soon God will show me. I just feel like my heart has been ripped out. I love you and miss you. Say hi to your Dad for me and i miss him to  Mom

~JOHN~  FIRST I WANT TO TELL YOU THANKS FOR EVERYTIME YOU MADE ME LAUGH. I ALWAYS WILL REMEMBER THE LATE NIGHTS WE SPENT TALKING ON THE PHONE. YOUR MOM TELLING US ITS TIME TO GET OFF THE PHONE. YOU WOULD TELL HER OK AND THEN CALL ME RIGHT BACK. I REALLY WISH WE WOULD HAVE KEPT IN TOUCH. ABOUT 6 MONTHS BEFORE YOU PASSED I HAD A STRANGE VOICEMAIL. I FOUND OUT ABOUT 2 WEEKS LATER IT WAS YOU!!! I NEVER DID CALL YOU BACK I FEEL AWFUL ABOUT IT. I CANT FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT CALLING YOU AND NOW THAT YOU GONE I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH YOU MEANT TO ME AND HOW YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I DO CHERISH AND LOVE ALL THE MOMENTS WE SPENT TOGETHER. I THANKS MY COUSING MICHELLE FOR INTROUDUCING US. SHE PUT A SPECIAL PERSON IN MY LIFE THAT I WILL NEVER FORGOT. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS. AMBER JUNE FINK

 

JOHN...

 

WE GREW UP 3 HOUSES DOWN, YOU AND "DAD" USED TO YELL OFF THE PORCH EVERYTIME I WOULD GO OUTSIDE OR COME OVER..."SWEETCHEEKS!" I MISS YOU GUYS SOOO MUCH. THIS IS SO CRAZY. YOU WERE JUST AT MY HOUSE A WEEK BEFORE YOU LEFT US, MAKIN FUN OF ME DOIN SPINOUTS IN MY PARKINGLOT!! I MISS YOU, AND KEEP WATCHIN OVER EVERYONE, YOU AND YOUR DAD ARE OUR GUARDIAN ANGELS.

john... its so hard to believe that this really happened. it still doesnt seem real. I cant get over this, i miss you so so so much. i never got the chance to thank you for all the times you were there for me when i needed you. I hope that one day we will meet again and then I will have that chance to thank you. you will always be in my heart and I will never ever forget about you. I love you!

Hey John I miss you so... much John. I love you like a brother and you know that John. I miss you and wish you were here right now....

 

I am going to have a baby boy on Jan 14th and I know that you would have loved to see him...you would have been like an uncle. He will def know about you though.

 

The weirdest thing happened lastnight I had a dream about you and you were here. You had your accident but you were still here and okay. I couldn't handle it i cried almost ten times that day. I miss you so... much and wish that you could still be here like that dream.

 

I know that you are here John no matter what. I know that you are looking down on all of us. We all miss and love you very very much!!!

 

 

XOXO I love ya!!!

 

Michelle AKA Chelle Bean

One more year till i graduate john. arent you proud? i know you would be. god i miss you so much dude, it is unbearable. People tell me that i should be getting over this, but the one thing i have to say to them is that i will never get over this. i am still in utter shock, the day it happened still runs on replay in my head. i know you are with me with every step, please make me a better person john. please please please.

The day of the funeral still plays in my head also, i couldnt stop crying for you john. as i knelt there by your casket, i let it all out. i still remember everyone surrounding me telling me that everything happens for a reason. but i still can't handle it. young people like you are not supposed to die. I will be forever effected by this. words cannot describe the pain i have gone through.

I read the poem i wrote for you the other day. i remember the night i wrote it, it was the night of the wake, and i broke down about every five minutes, because i still could not believe that you were gone. I couldn't stand to look up at your casket, knowing that you actually were not there. But i knew i would have to confront it.

I stood in front of your casket for a good thirty minutes bawling my eyes out, as our close family surrounded me. I couldnt believe the support they gave me. me being the youngest, they probably didnt know what to expect from me. god i miss you john, so much. its your birthday on friday. I will celebrate just for you buddy.